The best work jokes

Q: Why did the astronaut retire? A: He got spaced out!
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has 21.42 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: old people, work
The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: sport, work
(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
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has 18.60 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, family, friendship, men, work
You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in. You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address. She tells you to take her out today. She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world. You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy. You run out as fast as you can. You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two. Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it. You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter. Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer. You ask him why she called him daddy. He says because that's my first name.
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has 17.36 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, flirt, sex, work
Q: What do you call a computer expert? A: A control-alt-elite.
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has 8.88 % from 342 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, work
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