When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that. When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Knock-knock. Who is there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you're doing and have a happy Valentines Day!
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots.
Q: How many white people does it take to clean a toilet? A: None, that's a nigger's job.
Q: What's the difference between a working white man and a working black man? A: The White man is working legally.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.