The best airplane jokes

When terrorists feed their children, do they use the airplane method of "open wide" while making airplane noises? Or do they just smash it into their faces?
Vote: has 74.34 % from 160 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, kids, racist, terrorist
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
Vote: has 74.17 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common? A: They both have a cockpit.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, dirty, women
A teacher asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories. She was puzzled by a boy's picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. 'The flight to Egypt,' he replied. 'I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,' she said. 'But who's the fourth person?' 'Oh, that's Pontius – the Pilot!'
Vote: has 73.52 % from 112 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, bible, catholic, teacher
One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?" To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!" The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold he was. The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?" To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!
Vote: has 72.47 % from 253 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, bar, gay, travel, winter
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, life, women
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Vote: has 72.07 % from 81 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, technology, time
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord and nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, blonde