The best airplane jokes

There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
has 56.47 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, kids, mexican, travel
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, kitty
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode... She thought she could fly.
has 54.83 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: airplane, insulting, stupid, technology, Yo mama
There were four people on a plane. One of them, the Pilot. The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy. The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump! But there were only three parachutes. The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute." And he jumped off. Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!" And he jumps. The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man. The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway." The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: age, airplane, black humor, political, stupid
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
has 52.97 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, phone, travel
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel, work
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, lawyer
Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets for her flight.
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: airplane, fat, travel, Yo mama
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
has 51.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
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