The best airplane jokes

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, kids, travel
Q: What do bleached blondes and airplanes both have in common? A: They both have a black box.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, stupid
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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has 56.88 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, kids, mexican, travel
What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor
There were four people on a plane. One of them, the Pilot. The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy. The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump! But there were only three parachutes. The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute." And he jumped off. Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!" And he jumps. The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man. The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway." The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: age, airplane, black humor, political, stupid
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
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has 56.06 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, technology, time
While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Q: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A: A good start.
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has 52.01 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black people, geography
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, lawyer
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