The best airplane jokes

Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
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has 49.74 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets for her flight.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: airplane, fat, travel, Yo mama
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel, work
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Don't make 9/11 jokes, my dad died at the twin towers. The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
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has 44.53 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, morbid
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, travel
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: airplane, travel, women
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