The best airplane jokes

A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel, work
Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets for her flight.
Vote:
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: airplane, fat, travel, Yo mama
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
Vote:
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, lawyer
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
Vote:
has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, kitty
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Vote:
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
In an aeroplane flying to Melbourne a blonde girl leaves her seat and goes to the business class. The stewardess, who’ s watching her, gently asks her to see her ticket and tells her that she has to go back to her seat. But the blonde girl replies “I am young, beautiful, I travel to Melbourne and I’m staying here”. The stewardess goes to the cockpit and explains the copilot what happened. So he comes out of the cockpit and tries to explain to the blonde girl that she had to go back to her seat. And again the blonde girl says “I am young, beautiful, I travel to Melbourne and I’m staying here”. The copilot, confused, returns to the cockpit and explains the situation to the aircraft commander. “Don’t worry”, he says, “My wife is a blonde… I can hanlde it!”. So the commander, goes out, spots the blonde and whispers something in her ear. Suddenley, she stands up and says “Oh sorry mister…I didn’ t know…!” and runs back to her seat. “What the hell did you tell her?” asks the copilot who was watching the scene. “I told her that people in the business class are not flying to Belbourne”
Vote:
has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, business, travel
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?  A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar? A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Vote:
has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, kids, travel
<<<89
More jokes →
Page 8 of 9.