The best airplane jokes

A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
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has 42.19 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: airplane, travel, women
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?  A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde
In an aeroplane flying to Melbourne a blonde girl leaves her seat and goes to the business class. The stewardess, who’ s watching her, gently asks her to see her ticket and tells her that she has to go back to her seat. But the blonde girl replies “I am young, beautiful, I travel to Melbourne and I’m staying here”. The stewardess goes to the cockpit and explains the copilot what happened. So he comes out of the cockpit and tries to explain to the blonde girl that she had to go back to her seat. And again the blonde girl says “I am young, beautiful, I travel to Melbourne and I’m staying here”. The copilot, confused, returns to the cockpit and explains the situation to the aircraft commander. “Don’t worry”, he says, “My wife is a blonde… I can hanlde it!”. So the commander, goes out, spots the blonde and whispers something in her ear. Suddenley, she stands up and says “Oh sorry mister…I didn’ t know…!” and runs back to her seat. “What the hell did you tell her?” asks the copilot who was watching the scene. “I told her that people in the business class are not flying to Belbourne”
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, business, travel
Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
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has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel
Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: air force, airplane, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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has 36.81 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, celebrity, Chuck Norris
A group of blondes was going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day, I am going to dial 911 and call the cops!"
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, cop, travel
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar? A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
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has 33.50 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, kids, travel
A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids
A blonde was sitting in economy class... on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.
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has 15.22 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, travel