Joke #10019

Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
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has 33.86 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: air force, airplane, Chuck Norris

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You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane... Only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
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has 85.85 % from 508 votes. More jokes about: air force, airplane, military, prison, wife
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."
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has 85.37 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: air force, airplane, military, navy, time
Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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has 83.79 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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has 82.39 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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has 82.38 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately. "Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and sexy, female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous! " The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before. This is Air Force One..."
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has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: air force, airplane, couple, insulting, political
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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has 75.23 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out. When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: air force, airplane, car, mean, work