The best bar jokes

A white guy goes into a bar and sees a black bartender. He says, "yo, nigger, get me a beer!" The bartender says, "that's very rude. How would you like it if I talked to you like that?" The white guy says, "let's switch places and see!" So they switch places. The bartender says, " yo, cracka, get me a beer!" The white guy says, "sorry, we don't serve niggers here!"
Vote: has 55.37 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, black people, racist
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, men, stupid
Q: What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar? A: Gimme a slug of whiskey.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, cowboy
A blind man walks into a bar. The blind man sits down, thinking he'd break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?" In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our bartender IS blonde, or bouncer is blond, I'm a 6'4" black belt, the man sitting on the other side of me is 6'2, 250lbs, and a rugby player. The guy sitting next to you is pushing 300, 6'6, and he's a wrestler. We're ALL blond. So you think about it mister, do you really wanna tell that joke?" The blind man sat for a second, thinking over the odds and then replied "No, not if I have to explain it five times."
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, blonde
An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, democrat, political, racist, white people
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, drunk
A black african man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender says "That's pretty nice where did you get it?" "Africa" the parrot responds.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, black people, geography, parrot
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, money
Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, blonde, ginger, women
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, women