# The best beer jokes

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the loo. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!" After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, men
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, beer
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender. "Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that." The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks. Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, money
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. "I told you already, you are way to drunk, you can not have another beer! Get out of my bar!" Disgruntled, the man looks at the bartender and asks, "Man, how many bars do you work at?"
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, drunk
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Vote: has 22.04 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club. "You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bartender, beer, golf
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food

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