The best beer jokes

Drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like muffing your sister, it tastes the same but something's not right about it.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: beer, men
Question: How many men does it take to open a beer? Answer: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
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has 39.21 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: beer, women
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
What's the fastest thing in the world? A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve. What's the second fastest thing in the world? The Indians running after it.
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beer, life
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
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has 35.20 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, women
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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has 33.64 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: beer, bible, Chuck Norris, religious, wine
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club. "You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bartender, beer, golf
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender. "Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that." The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks. Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, money
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. As he sits there, the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing. Disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette vending machine to buy a pack of smokes. As he approaches the machine, it starts screaming and shouting at him. He runs to the bar and explains this to the barman. The barman apologizes and says "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order"!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer
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