The best beer jokes

Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat. Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears. After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him. Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing. "Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom. "Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry. Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beer, fish, sport
What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beer, Chuck Norris
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: beer, men
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
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has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, women
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club. "You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bartender, beer, golf
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. As he sits there, the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing. Disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette vending machine to buy a pack of smokes. As he approaches the machine, it starts screaming and shouting at him. He runs to the bar and explains this to the barman. The barman apologizes and says "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order"!
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, beer
What's the fastest thing in the world? A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve. What's the second fastest thing in the world? The Indians running after it.
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has 32.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, life
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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has 32.06 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: beer, bible, Chuck Norris, religious, wine
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