The best beer jokes

Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat. Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears. After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him. Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing. "Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom. "Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry. Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: beer, fish, sport
Question: How many men does it take to open a beer? Answer: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
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has 39.21 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: beer, women
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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has 37.09 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: beer, bible, Chuck Norris, religious, wine
What's the fastest thing in the world? A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve. What's the second fastest thing in the world? The Indians running after it.
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beer, life
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: beer, men
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
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has 35.20 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, women
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club. "You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bartender, beer, golf
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender. "Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that." The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks. Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, money
A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. As he sits there, the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing. Disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette vending machine to buy a pack of smokes. As he approaches the machine, it starts screaming and shouting at him. He runs to the bar and explains this to the barman. The barman apologizes and says "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order"!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer
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