The best bible jokes

A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it. After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible. After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help. She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.
Vote:
has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian, customer service, dinosaur, stupid
Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
Vote:
has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, bible, Yo mama
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
Vote:
has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Vote:
has 37.09 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: beer, bible, Chuck Norris, religious, wine
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Vote:
has 27.12 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: bible, catholic, Chuck Norris