Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
Q: What was the world's first palindrome? A: Madam, I'm Adam.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me . . . they’re cramming for their final exam.”
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny. The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!" And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!" And fell back to sleep. Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"