The best car jokes

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, fat
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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has 21.53 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, disgusting
Johny was stopped by the policeman on the road, the policeman has looked over the whole car and has said to Johny: "Johny, if you´ll go somebody by your car, the human would probably survive the collision with your car also without your help, but the treatment with the content of your archaic first aid box will survive nobody, there´s no doubt. Did you buy it in the shop B.C.?"
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has 21.06 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, little Johnny, time
Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test? A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
How do you fit 54 Jews in a car? 2 in the front 2 in the back and 50 in the ashtray.
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has 18.96 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, racist
One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car. The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents. He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out. The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing. After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”
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has 17.40 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, money
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home. ” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? ” Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, ” I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”
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has 17.24 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, old people
Yo momma is so stupid she had to use her car key to open the front door just to get in.
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has 16.45 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: car, stupid, Yo mama
In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer. They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down. The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution. Suddenly the programmer says: "I say we better FORMAT it!"
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has 15.59 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, geek, IT, mechanic, programmer
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