The best car jokes

A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those...
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer, money, wife
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home." The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, car, drunk
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A. Divorcee'
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, divorce
There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving? Nethier, the cop is.
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has 25.73 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, racist
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
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has 24.76 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven
Q: Why is it that a white man is hanging on to a car driving 200 km per hour? A: Because a black man is driving it!
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has 24.50 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, driving, insulting, white people
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
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has 23.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, health, old people, phone
Johny was stopped by the policeman on the road, the policeman has looked over the whole car and has said to Johny: "Johny, if you´ll go somebody by your car, the human would probably survive the collision with your car also without your help, but the treatment with the content of your archaic first aid box will survive nobody, there´s no doubt. Did you buy it in the shop B.C.?"
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has 23.32 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, little Johnny, time
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ? A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
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has 23.18 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, travel
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
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