The best car jokes

Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, fat
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Vote: has 19.58 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, car, disgusting
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
Vote: has 19.53 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test? A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
Vote: has 19.11 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, health, old people, phone
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A. Divorcee'
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, divorce
How do you fit 54 Jews in a car? 2 in the front 2 in the back and 50 in the ashtray.
Vote: has 16.60 % from 233 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, jewish, racist
In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer. They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down. The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution. Suddenly the programmer says: "I say we better FORMAT it!"
Vote: has 16.01 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, geek, IT, mechanic, programmer
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
Vote: has 13.74 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, death
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Vote: has 12.35 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop