The best church jokes

Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church? A: Because they use such FOWL language.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, communication
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: church, death, husband, marriage
One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church. The preacher said, ''If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.'' So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart. The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his penis. The old woman looked over and said, ''He said he could heal, not raise the dead!''
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has 44.51 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: age, church, music, old people
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
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has 35.29 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: church, dirty, little Johnny, sex
One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
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has 29.23 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: church, communication, dad, phone, relationship
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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has 19.83 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church