The best customer service jokes

In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove. "Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?" "I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno." "I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history." "Do you have Shakespeare in English?"
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, dinosaur, stupid
After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. "About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?" "Neither," she said. "It's a fish."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: customer service, fish, food
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel
If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service
A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store. He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it. So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir." "How can I help you" the employee replies. "Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?" The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, customer service, men
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dog, men
A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, business, customer service, stupid, technology
Employee: "Hi welcome to McDonald's what can I get you today." Little Johnny: "Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke." Employee: "Sir you know you don't have to put Mc in front of anything you order." Little Johnny: "Ok I just really like Donald's." Employee: "Sir its McDonald's." Little Johnny: "Ma'am you don't have to put Mc in front of everything."
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, food, little Johnny
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 10, 1 to change the bulb and 9 to share the experience.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: customer service, geography, light bulb
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