The best dad jokes

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Vote:
has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, lawyer
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote:
has 41.19 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Vote:
has 40.75 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
Vote:
has 39.81 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote:
has 39.64 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote:
has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: computer, dad, IT
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Vote:
has 35.78 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, racist
Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.
Vote:
has 35.01 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, stupid, Yo mama
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Vote:
has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad
<<<1819
More jokes →
Page 18 of 19.