The best dad jokes

Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!

Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.

Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."

An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.

What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"

One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...

How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.