The best dad jokes

One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
Vote: has 31.48 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, communication, dad, phone, relationship
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, disgusting, sex
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, money
What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, disgusting
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
Vote: has 26.76 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 24.15 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Vote: has 22.04 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, dad, geography, travel, wine
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
Vote: has 14.25 % from 252 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, disgusting, dog, family