The best dad jokes

Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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has 30.94 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad, family, golf
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
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has 29.97 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, sex
What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting
One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
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has 26.21 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: church, communication, dad, phone, relationship
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dad, geography, travel, wine
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: dad, money
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
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has 20.56 % from 326 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, dog, family
You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in. You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address. She tells you to take her out today. She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world. You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy. You run out as fast as you can. You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two. Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it. You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter. Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer. You ask him why she called him daddy. He says because that's my first name.
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has 17.19 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, flirt, sex, work
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