The best dad jokes

One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
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has 46.35 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, school, stupid
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
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has 45.33 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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has 43.60 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, school, sex
If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.
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has 43.46 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dad
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
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has 42.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, lawyer
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dad, school
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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has 41.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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has 40.68 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
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