Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Ramu: Your name on this report card.
If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town;
"Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father.
"How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
A father tells his son to stop jacking off.
"You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says.
The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
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Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too.
Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception.
A little girl has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts.
"Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.
She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan.
"Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds.
The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly.
"What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot.
What would you be then?"
"Oh," says the little girl.
"Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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