The best dad jokes

The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, lawyer
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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has 46.03 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad, sex, time
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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has 44.78 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, school, sex
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
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has 44.47 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, school, stupid
If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.
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has 43.46 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dad
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
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has 42.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
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has 42.42 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, health, masturbation
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dad, school
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: college, dad, money
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