Joke #7111

What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
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Once there was a little boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, "Mommy, I have to piss." The mother said, "Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite." The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom. He told his father, "Daddy I have to whisper." The father said, "OK. Here, whisper in my ear."
Vote: has 81.81 % from 216 votes. Send joke:
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Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
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How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
Vote: has 28.99 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
Vote: has 15.19 % from 266 votes. Send joke:
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Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
Vote: has 80.80 % from 257 votes. Send joke:
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Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
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A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Vote: has 76.81 % from 226 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, computer, dad, IT, programmer
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school. Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?" "Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
Vote: has 67.50 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
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What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
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When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.
Vote: has 14.11 % from 143 votes. Send joke:
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