The best dating jokes

A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. "Were you worried, father?" "Yes, I was really worried... I want to know how much did that date cost you..." "It cost me only four euros!" "Hmm, it's not that much." "I know father... But the girl didn't have any more money..."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: age, dating, money
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
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has 69.45 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, dating, nerd
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
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has 68.30 % from 1370 votes. More jokes about: dating, sex
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dating, weather
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
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has 60.81 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?” “He said you were speeding!” the old man yelled. The patrolman then asked, “May I see your license?” The woman turned to her husband again, “What did he say?” The old man yelled back, “He wants to see your license!” The woman then gave the officer her license. “I see you are from Arkansas,” the patrolman said. “I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.” The woman turned to her husband again and asked, “What did he say?” The old man replied, “He said he knows you!
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: cop, dating, husband, old people, ugly
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought the international dateline was a global dating service.
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dating, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dating, food, life
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