The best dating jokes

A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
Vote:
has 69.90 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: dating, IT, phone, technology
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. "Were you worried, father?" "Yes, I was really worried... I want to know how much did that date cost you..." "It cost me only four euros!" "Hmm, it's not that much." "I know father... But the girl didn't have any more money..."
Vote:
has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: age, dating, money
Young kids use a dating app on their phones. Older kids use a dating website on their computers. Adults use a matchmaking service to get dates. Senior citizens meet potential dates at church events. Anyone older than that will have to resort to carbon dating.
Vote:
has 69.37 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: age, dating, death, morbid, relationship
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
Vote:
has 69.32 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, dating, nerd
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
Vote:
has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: coding, dating, geek, IT, technology
Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
Vote:
has 67.52 % from 1400 votes. More jokes about: dating, sex
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?” “He said you were speeding!” the old man yelled. The patrolman then asked, “May I see your license?” The woman turned to her husband again, “What did he say?” The old man yelled back, “He wants to see your license!” The woman then gave the officer her license. “I see you are from Arkansas,” the patrolman said. “I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.” The woman turned to her husband again and asked, “What did he say?” The old man replied, “He said he knows you!
Vote:
has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: cop, dating, husband, old people, ugly
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Vote:
has 63.81 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
Vote:
has 62.24 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
Vote:
has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
<<<234
More jokes →
Page 2 of 4.