The best dirty jokes

Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on. Girl: Well its wrong... Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast
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has 80.34 % from 485 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time
Hitler conquering another village while ww2 and he decided to give a chance for every woman in this village to save their families. He made all men to stand naked one next to another in stright line and every woman have to find her husband by doing them bl*wjob. First woman starts to suck and saying: "Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, Mine!" It's turn out that she was right so they could walk away free. Second woman starts to suck: "Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, MINE!" True again so Hitler was deeply surprised and decided to stand in line between men of village. Third woman starts to doing her job and saying: "Not mine, not mine, not mine , not mine, not from this village, not mine...."
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has 80.33 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.
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has 80.33 % from 352 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
An Italian and a Greek were arguing about which country added the most to civilization. The Greek: We built the Acropolis! the Italian: We built the colloseum! The Greek: We gave the world advanced math! the Italian: We made the Roman Empire! The Greek: We discovered sex! the Italian: And we introduced it to women!
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has 80.31 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"Dad, whats the difference between a p*ssy and a c*nt ?" young son ask. "Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "that's a p*ssy son." "Its wonderful dad, can I touch it?" "NO son," says dad, "If you touch the p*ssy you'll wake the c*nt up!"
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has 80.27 % from 857 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
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has 80.24 % from 466 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, game, history
Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, "I've got a huge crack." The other replies, "Stop teasing me, I'm not f*cking hard yet."
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has 80.24 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap. Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said, " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y." "Nope!" replied George. Then again, pointing his finger in the boys face, "You want C-A-N-D-Y." "Nope!" replied George. "Then just what the hell do you want," ask Santa. George looked Santa in the face, pointing his finger, "I want some P-U-S-S-Y! And don't tell me that you don't have any. Because I can smell it on your finger!"
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has 80.20 % from 294 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!" The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"
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has 80.18 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, god, religious, sex
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
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has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
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