The best dirty jokes

A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap. Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said, " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y." "Nope!" replied George. Then again, pointing his finger in the boys face, "You want C-A-N-D-Y." "Nope!" replied George. "Then just what the hell do you want," ask Santa. George looked Santa in the face, pointing his finger, "I want some P-U-S-S-Y! And don't tell me that you don't have any. Because I can smell it on your finger!"
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has 79.66 % from 286 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.
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has 79.63 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
*My dad helping me find a gf* Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. *Grounded and high fived*
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has 79.54 % from 1330 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex, women
A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for s*x." His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep." He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!"
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has 79.52 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."
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has 79.45 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, marriage, mean, sex
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
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has 79.37 % from 514 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, family, work
Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he's on fire, and wants some dirty fun so he gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her. "Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table." So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is this better?" "Much better!" she replies with a smile. "Okay, then," he says, "now will you please pass the pussy."
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has 79.28 % from 641 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, sex
I saw a sign in a public toilet the other day. It said "Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would have liked to have found it in." So I left it with a porn mag and a line of coke ...
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has 79.26 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.
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has 79.24 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, mean, vulgar
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