The best dog jokes

What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
Vote: has 33.71 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, black humor, dead baby, dog, morbid
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Vote: has 33.37 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dog, men
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
Vote: has 28.82 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, food
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!" But the man protested and replied: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dog, game, sport
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
Vote: has 20.26 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, weather
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Vote: has 17.83 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting, dog


<<<1213
More jokes →
Page 12 of 13.