The best dog jokes

What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
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has 34.75 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, dead baby, dog, morbid
When two men have sex what position are they going to be in? But what about when two dogs have sex? That means that the two men are having sex doggy style then what ways are the dogs having sex? That means that the dogs are having an affair with the men to have sex doggy style.
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has 34.20 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, gay, sex
A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
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has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: dog, men
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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has 31.48 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
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has 28.82 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, food
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!" But the man protested and replied: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: dog, game, sport
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.
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has 19.23 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, weather
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