The best dog jokes

Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, science
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
Vote: has 40.67 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, desert island, dog, time
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
Vote: has 38.61 % from 108 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cop, dog, racist
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Vote: has 38.22 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, fish, husband
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
When two men have sex what position are they going to be in? But what about when two dogs have sex? That means that the two men are having sex doggy style then what ways are the dogs having sex? That means that the dogs are having an affair with the men to have sex doggy style.
Vote: has 34.57 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, dog, gay, sex
A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
Vote: has 34.13 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids


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