Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a nigger? A: A Doberman.
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.