The best dog jokes

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, science
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dog
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, Yo mama
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!" But the man protested and replied: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dog, game, sport
A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
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has 44.47 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigga in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
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has 43.37 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, dog
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dog
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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has 40.73 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, dog, food, morbid
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