Wife: "There is something wrong with you."
Me: "What a thing to say just before our dog's first salsa lesson."
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog.
They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!"
But the man protested and replied:
"No, no, he isn't that clever.
I'm leading by three games to one!"
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigga in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
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Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a nigger?
A: A Doberman.
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How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere.
Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned.
"Finally, some company!" he thought.
While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
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