The best driving jokes

A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Vote: has 45.94 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, black people, car, cop, driving
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, driving, women
There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky, when the notion of the motion was planted, in her dinky little head. With her butt in the air, while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest. Drunk and stupid and would not listen, smeared beyond recognition, she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, driving, drunk, poems, stupid
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
Vote: has 42.33 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, kids, sex
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
Vote: has 39.38 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, driving
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
Vote: has 24.28 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, cop, driving, drunk, redneck
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, driving, money, work
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
Vote: has 19.11 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, health, old people, phone