Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house?
A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.
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If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.
Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
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When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones.
The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones."
I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright.
Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student.
Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night.
This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Why are asian people bad at driving?
Because they can't see.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.
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Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman.
One of them runs away the other two stay to watch.
The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away.
Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?"
He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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How do you know if an Asian robbed you?
Your homework is done and cats gone.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she went to buy a color television, she left the store because they didn't have one in pink.
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