Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house? A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones. The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones." I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright. Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Why are asian people bad at driving? Because they can't see.
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.