The best elephant jokes

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them. Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?" Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each." B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!" Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant, money
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time
An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, health
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications. Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant. Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion! Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
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has 54.89 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
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has 51.08 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: elephant, memory, political, republican
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