The best family jokes

Three grandsons of ex Army Men were boasting about their grandfathers. "My great grandfather," one declared proudly, "made the army proud by joining the army at the age of 12." "Mine," boasts another, "got 12 bravery medals." "He was the only soldier in my family," confessed the third one, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 152 years old."
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, family, military
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
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has 40.87 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, jewish, war
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: family, relationship, Yo mama
Three men stranded on an island. They were walking across the sand when they came across a magic lamp; they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie said "you have three wishes but make it quick." So they thought about what they were going to wish for. The one man said, "I wish I was at home with my family." So the genie said your wish is my command, and he was gone, then the second man said "I wish I was in the pub with my mates." So he was gone. The last man said, "I am lonely and I want my friends back."
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has 40.07 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: desert island, family, friendship, genie
Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, family, life
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. "Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills." "I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her." "I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to." A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald - the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old. But Robert - you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
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has 39.05 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, mexican
Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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has 37.08 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad, family, golf
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
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has 35.17 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: family, racist, school, weather
In my village, it is not usual, ordinary, even normal that somebody would go to work. Even though there is one person in our village who goes to work on a regular basis. In the morning when he goes to work the whole village accompanies him, men, women, children, grannies and grandpas and in the evening when he goes back from work the whole village welcomes him back. We all are smiling at him and we are waving at him with the bunches of purple lilac flowers for example during this period of time, April, May.
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: family, time, work
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