The best family jokes

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
has 44.56 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, family, life
Yo mamma is so fat, when she went on a cruise, a walrus jumped aboard and started singing 'we are family'.
has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: family, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What do you throw to a drowning black man? A: The rest of his family.
has 42.91 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
has 42.49 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, health, masturbation
Three grandsons of ex Army Men were boasting about their grandfathers. "My great grandfather," one declared proudly, "made the army proud by joining the army at the age of 12." "Mine," boasts another, "got 12 bravery medals." "He was the only soldier in my family," confessed the third one, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 152 years old."
has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, family, military
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.
has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: family, relationship, Yo mama
Three men stranded on an island. They were walking across the sand when they came across a magic lamp; they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie said "you have three wishes but make it quick." So they thought about what they were going to wish for. The one man said, "I wish I was at home with my family." So the genie said your wish is my command, and he was gone, then the second man said "I wish I was in the pub with my mates." So he was gone. The last man said, "I am lonely and I want my friends back."
has 39.96 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: desert island, family, friendship, genie
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
has 39.74 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, mexican
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. "Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills." "I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her." "I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to." A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald - the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old. But Robert - you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
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