The best family jokes

Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10. And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10". The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: family, math, memory, teacher
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, family
Johny has lately written a short email to his brother while asking him only one question in this email: Hi brother, I am writing to you, I only would like to know, tell me: How is your fianceé? The Johny´s brother reply was only: Hi John, her brother is doing well.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, family, wedding
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Yo mamma is so fat, when she went on a cruise, a walrus jumped aboard and started singing 'we are family'.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: family, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: family, little Johnny, school
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One bloke says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24! What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family." "What do you call it?" "We call it a football wedding." The first asks, "What's a football wedding?" The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: age, family, sport, wedding
Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family? A: The Sole inbred.
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has 45.43 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: family, racist, redneck
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 44.61 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
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has 44.51 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, health, masturbation
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