The best family jokes

Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family? A: The Sole inbred.
Vote: has 42.26 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, racist, redneck
Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 42.13 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad, family, golf
Q: Who is the saddest grandma in the world? A: Grandma of a vegan.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, old people
Three grandsons of ex Army Men were boasting about their grandfathers. "My great grandfather," one declared proudly, "made the army proud by joining the army at the age of 12." "Mine," boasts another, "got 12 bravery medals." "He was the only soldier in my family," confessed the third one, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 152 years old."
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, family, military
Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, family, life
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, relationship, Yo mama
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. "Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills." "I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her." "I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to." A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald - the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old. But Robert - you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, family
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
Vote: has 15.19 % from 266 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, disgusting, dog, family
(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
Vote: has 14.26 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, family, friendship, men, work


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