The best golf jokes

Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: geography, golf, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes *Whack!* "Darn!", but a bad skydiver goes "Darn!" *WHACK!*
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has 62.13 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!" His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible." Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?" Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!" Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!" Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, golf, sport, wife
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: fish, golf, sport
A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life. The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies. He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened. The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes. The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black? The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
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has 59.82 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: black humor, game, golf, life
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: golf, heaven, sport
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, game, golf, mean, time
Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? A. The PGA tour
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has 56.83 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: black people, golf, sport, white people
Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course? A: The 19th hole.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, golf
Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer? A: "You have a hole in one."
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dentist, golf
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