Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Josh. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let Josh graduate, let Josh graduate!" The principal agrees to give Josh one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Josh, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Josh thought long and hard and then said: "Ten." And the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Josh another chance. Give Josh another chance!"
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.