The best graduation jokes

When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, money, school, teacher
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: graduation, men, time, work
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: graduation, sport
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: beauty, graduation, stupid
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, graduation, science
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: drunk, friendship, graduation
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