The best graduation jokes

It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Josh. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let Josh graduate, let Josh graduate!" The principal agrees to give Josh one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Josh, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Josh thought long and hard and then said: "Ten." And the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Josh another chance. Give Josh another chance!"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, student
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: graduation, light bulb, student, stupid, time
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: graduation, sport
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: graduation, men, time, work
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: beauty, graduation, stupid
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, graduation, science
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: drunk, friendship, graduation
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