The best graduation jokes

Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: graduation, light bulb, student, stupid, time
When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, money, school, teacher
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: graduation, life, school, work
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: graduation, men, time, work
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: beauty, graduation, stupid
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, graduation, science
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: drunk, friendship, graduation
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