The best graduation jokes

If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: graduation, life, school, work
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, student
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: graduation, sport
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: beauty, graduation, stupid
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, graduation, science
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: drunk, friendship, graduation
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