Joke #10040

What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear." The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!" But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board. After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears. After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank. Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are. The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
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has 83.29 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, hunting, life, travel
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Yo Momma is so fat… That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
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has 78.04 % from 374 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called? Loch Jaws.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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has 26.83 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn't seem disturbed at all. (Whew! Got away with that one!). Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."
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has 84.54 % from 556 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, fart, husband, time