Joke #10098

Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.

A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"

How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!

What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.

What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.

What's a rabbits favorite song? "Hoppy Birthday to You."

What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.

Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.

A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?" The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!