Joke #5177

Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.

I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?

Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"

The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree. Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them: Who pulled out this tree from his root? Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.

You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.

Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will grant him a wish. Man says: please make my dog win the next dog race. Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish. The man says: "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area." Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog. The frog turns to the man and says: "Could I please have another look at the dog?"