Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah.
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words. You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"