Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
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Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh.
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Q: What is red and black?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
Ronnie goes to the auction.
He notices a parrot that was on auction.
Ronnie decides to bid for it and so Ronnie starts off with 50 Dollars.
Auctioneer: 50 Dollars
Voice: 100 Dollars
Ronnie: 200 Dollars
Voice: 300 Dollars
Ronnie: 400 Dollars
Voice: 750 Dollars
Ronnie: 800 Dollars
Auctioneer 800 going once, twice and the parrot is sold.
Ronnie to the Auctioneer "I hope this Parrot can speak as I have spent a lot of money on it."
Auctioneer Laughing: "Who do you think was Bidding against you.
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead?
Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.
Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?"
The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
They go sharkers.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.