Joke #5177

Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
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When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
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Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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What did the calf say to the silo? "Is my fodder in there?"
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A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
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How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.
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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint. The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow. The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
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Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
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What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.
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