Joke #5177

Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

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One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
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has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, phone
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Ronnie goes to the auction. He notices a parrot that was on auction. Ronnie decides to bid for it and so Ronnie starts off with 50 Dollars. Auctioneer: 50 Dollars Voice: 100 Dollars Ronnie: 200 Dollars Voice: 300 Dollars Ronnie: 400 Dollars Voice: 750 Dollars Ronnie: 800 Dollars Auctioneer 800 going once, twice and the parrot is sold. Ronnie to the Auctioneer "I hope this Parrot can speak as I have spent a lot of money on it." Auctioneer Laughing: "Who do you think was Bidding against you.
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has 77.26 % from 284 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, parrot
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
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has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat, doctor, political
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Valentines day