Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
A hare dare.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
Little Billy looks at the chimpanzees from the zoo.
Mama, little Billy shouts, this monkey looks like our neighbour, Mr. Danny.
Billy, it’s not polite to talk like that!
Why? The chimpanzee doesn’t understand...
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
What do you call a turtle with a hard on?
A slow poke.
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
A: Hoppalong Cassidy.