Joke #5177

Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."

How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.

Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.

A duck, a pigeon, and a chicken all walk into a courtroom... The judge asked the duck, "What is your crime?" The duck responds, "I was blowing bubbles in front of City Hall." The judge says, "There's no crime committed here, you're free to go." The judge then asks the pigeon, "What is your crime?" The pigeon responds, "I was also blowing bubbles in front of City Hall." The judge looks a little confused but finally says, "There's no crime committed here, you're also free to go." Lastly, the chicken walks up to the judge, and the judge asks, "What is your crime?" The chicken, first looking back at the pigeon and the duck, then turning to the judge says, "I'm bubbles."

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator

Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo!

What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.

Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."

First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!