Joke #102

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
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has 75.31 % from 252 votes. More jokes about: women

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A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy her cigarettes. He walks there only to find it closed. So, he goes into a nearby bar to use their vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and eventually end up in her apartment. After they've had some fun, he realizes it's 3 a.m. and says, "My wife's going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?" The woman gives him some talcum powder, which he rubs on his hands and then goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and screeches, "Where the hell have you been?!" "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there, we had a few drinks, one thing led to another, and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and says, "You liar! You went bowling again!"
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has 59.69 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife, women
Q: Why did this woman cross the road? A: Because I was not fast enough to hit her.
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: women
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
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has 45.30 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
A woman is driving for 1st time on the highway. Her husband calls says: "Be careful love, It's just been on the radio, that someone is driving opposite to the traffic on the highway.." She replies: "Someone...? These rascals are in hundreds!"
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has 84.65 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: car, husband, love, women
Bob had been listening to his wife practicing her singing. "Honey," he said, "I wish you'd sing the songs about Women's Day." "That's nice of you, Bob," she said. "Why?" "Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"
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has 82.12 % from 443 votes. More jokes about: mean, music, time, wife, women
Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain. She asks the doctor what he has on sale. "Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100." Surprised she asks why the price difference? "Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: women
Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: women
Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: women