Joke #102

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
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has 77.86 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: women

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GOD said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” “Gladly, Lord,” replied Adam. “What do you want me to do?” “Go down into the valley.” “What’s a valley?” asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.” “What’s a river?” God explained it to him, and then continued, “Go over the hill…”. “What’s a hill?” God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, “On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.” “What’s a cave?” After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a woman.” Adam asked, “What’s a woman?” So God explained that to him too. He continued, “I want you to reproduce.” “How do I do that?” “Jeez,” God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman.” A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, “What’s a headache?”
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has 71.85 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: god, health, sex, women
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00."
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has 73.22 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, money, prison, women
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, party, stupid, women
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, music, women
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence" the farmer said. "This is a special day for me, I am celebrating."  "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," said the woman. "What a coincidence!" said the farmer.  As they clinked glasses he added, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!" "What a coincidence!" said the man.  "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" said the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I used a different ****," he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, "What a coincidence!"
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has 79.17 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, dirty, husband, women
Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart? A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
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has 31.48 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: women
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
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has 41.18 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
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has 75.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, mean, party, ugly, women
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?" "Yeah, for sure..." "And then... What are you waiting for...?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: god, love, women
"If women ruled the world," said my wife, "there'd be no wars."  "That's true," I replied. "Wars require strategy and logic."
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has 76.44 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: war, wife, women