Joke #102

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
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Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
Vote: has 74.32 % from 173 votes. Send joke:

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
Vote: has 86.90 % from 1612 votes. Send joke:

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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 72.27 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

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Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
Vote: has 25.67 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

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Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are. The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy." The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine." It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
Vote: has 83.25 % from 208 votes. Send joke:

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If God is a woman then we're all going to go to Hell, but we'll never know why.
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

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A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
Vote: has 75.85 % from 189 votes. Send joke:

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