Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE.
You know, Young Urban Professional.”
The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK.
You know, Double Income No Kids.”
They then asked the woman, “What are you?”
She replied: “I’m a WIFE.
You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
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Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are.
The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy."
The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine."
It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
Vote:
Should women have children after 35?
"No, 35 children are enough!"
I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
Recruits got a shock when their Army basic-training instructor turned out to be an attractive female sergeant.
Her assistant, however, was a burly, hawk-nosed veteran whose glare could freeze water.
At the end of training, the attractive instructor congratulated the recruits and said that if there was anything she could do for us, just ask.
From the back, a voice called out, "How about a kiss from the sergeant?"
"Sure," she replied, raising her hand to quell the laughter. "But I'll let my assistant take care of it!"
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by?
The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde."
Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde."
The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?"
The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas.
She’s down to her last $50.
Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?"
He walks away.
Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table.
Thinking maybe she’d won, he rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd.
The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
The man is stunned.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don’t know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"