Joke #3222

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
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Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy.  "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."  Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"  The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.
Vote: has 75.96 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Vote: has 13.52 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

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Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food, she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can’t buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog, so she bought in her dog and she got the dog food. The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said you can’t have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat, so she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food. Next day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did. She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you’re satisfied can I have some toilet paper please!
Vote: has 53.15 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised, "bubba, whats your secret?" Bubba says"well, every night before i go to get in bed with a woman i whack my dick on the bedpost three times." So the man decides to try it that very night. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says"bubba, is that you?"
Vote: has 86.66 % from 768 votes. Send joke:

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Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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