What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "manager". The questions are not that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal doesn't attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four-year-old.
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball? They re both brown, except the snowball.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.