What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? A: They get their masters.
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are your celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence, the woman said. For my husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence," she said.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."