What job do rabbits at hotels have?
Bellhop.
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What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger?
The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
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How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his.
At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says:
There were 24 pigs gentlemen!
Twice as much than you!
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog.
The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want."
The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you."
He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened.
And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
A bunny with money.
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street.
When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him.
When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog.
A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes.
He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?"
The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"