Joke #10395

Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?

Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy.

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.

A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."

Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo. Don't worry I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.

A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."

I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.

Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.