Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks. The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope." As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
Why do cows like being told joke? Because they like being amoosed.
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.