Why are rabbits never gold?
How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
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What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle battle.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
What's a rabbits favorite TV show?
Hoppy Days.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig?
The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't.
The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?"
The dog answers "ROOF."
The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying."
The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else".
The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time".
The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door.
As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".