Joke #8985

Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
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has 77.60 % from 706 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, money, Yo mama

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Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
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has 85.71 % from 2401 votes. More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
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has 84.92 % from 2274 votes. More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days. A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Joe replied, "Well, then just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I've spent it already." Joe said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with it?" Joe said, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't flog a dead horse!" Joe said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?" Joe said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 a piece and made a profit of £2495." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Joe said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back."
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has 82.47 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 82.36 % from 312 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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has 82.14 % from 8129 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox. We ask her whats she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.
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has 82.12 % from 8159 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?" That's about as far as I remember.
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has 82.11 % from 245 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, women
Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
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has 81.94 % from 5696 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Yo mamma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, "We cant fix it."
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has 81.92 % from 5758 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
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has 81.92 % from 7135 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama