Joke #10646

What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I ll get you next slime.

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."

What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.

A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”

The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.

Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me. Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me

I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."

Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.