Joke #651

Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, relationship

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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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has 32.12 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, relationship
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 30.36 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
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has 80.40 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: family, redneck, relationship
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
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What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo.
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has 73.75 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal
My ex-girlfriend loves the heat. She has a nostalgia for hell.
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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has 76.21 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: dog, relationship, single