Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.