Joke #651

Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote: has 63.81 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

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A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Vote: has 31.97 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
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A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him.” They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 65 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also.” They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: “This bull mated 365 times last year.” The wife’s mouth drops open and says, “WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one.” The man turns to his wife and says, “Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow.”
Vote: has 80.00 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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“A happy marriage is nothing but a give and take relationship; the husband gives and the wife takes.”
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Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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