What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.
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What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces.
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A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
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What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side…
A man has a racehorse, never won a race.
Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning."
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?"
The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull?
The white bull does: “Mooo”.
The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"