Joke #10681

What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, “Tsquare, do your stuff.” T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, “What can your cat do?” The Government Worker called to his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 71.38 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
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has 84.18 % from 1870 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, gay
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where do sharks come from? Sharkago.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal