What looks like half a cat? The other half.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
What's a teddy bears favourite pasta? Tagliateddy.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.