How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!
What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"