How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
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What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
(A teddy boar!)
How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?"
"No."
"Did he hurt the cows?"
"No, he just grazed them."
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman:
- Do you have any bananas?
- No,I don't. ( says the barman)
- Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey)
- No,I have not got any bananas!
- Do you have any bananas?
- If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter!
- Do you have any nails?
- No,I don't.
- Do you have any bananas?
One day, a guy decides to go ice fishing.
He gets out onto the ice and starts making a hole with his ice augur.
Suddenly he hears a booming voice say "there's no fish there!"
He looks around startled but doesn't see anyone.
He packs up and moves to another spot and starts working on a new hole.
Again he hears the booming voice "there's no fish there!"
He moves again and starts making a new hole and hears the voice again.
"There's no fish there!" it booms.
He looks up nervously.
"G-G-God? I-I-Is that... you?" he asks.
"No, it's the arena manager. Get the fuck out of here!"
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?
A: He got arrested just like you would've.