Joke #10847

How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!

In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.

So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!

There was this atheist and he was in the woods. And suddenly he heard some leaves cracking. He looked behind and there was a huge bear behind him. He started running and running and soon the bear was right on top of him and his paw was on top of him like he was going to swat him but suddenly he saw this big light appear and said; “For all these years you have despised me and now you call for my help.” The atheist said, “I’m sorry God. If you can’t help me, can’t you at least turn the bear into a Christian? Then the light disappeared. Then the bear knelt down and said, “Bless me Lord for this meal I’m about to receive!”

If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"

Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?

Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.

Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.

Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"