How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
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What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk?
He always liked to make a stink.
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place.
A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal.
Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
How do elephants hide in the jungle?
Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries!
What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
Monkeys eating cherries...
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.