How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing? A: Because he's a little hoarse.
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!