Joke #10118

What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.

Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.

Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.

What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.

Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.

The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".