How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start off with a large fortune!
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White owl: who who.
Black owl: who dat who dat.
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
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What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?
Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job.
"Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks.
"I can do great bird impressions", the man replies.
"Pssh, a lot of people can do that".
"Oh well", the man says and flies away.
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.
The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?"
The assistant says, "$2000."
The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive.
The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast."
"What about the green one?" the man asks.
The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes."
"What about the red one?" the man asks.
The assistant says, "That one's $10,000."
The man says, "What does HE do?"
The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!