Joke #10772

Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, nurse

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I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
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has 77.23 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife
Doctor: "You look exhausted." Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
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has 82.94 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, nurse, phone
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat." He smiled. "Done."
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, husband, nurse, stupid
Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, nurse
Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
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has 62.51 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, wife
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, internet, money
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"
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has 83.85 % from 478 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, nurse, travel