Joke #10900

What do nigger pimps and farmers have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business!

A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?

Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.

Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.

Q: What do you call an African American documentary? A: Planet of the Apes.

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled... "SUPPLIES!"

At the New York Zoo, a little boy felt the urge to feed his banana to a big gorilla there. His mother didn’t allow it. The boy started to cry, and made his mother to change her mind. Proudly, the boy goes near the gorilla with the banana and as he was about to give it away, the gorilla grabbed him and was prepared to eat him. Crying and shouting, the boy tries to escape, but even his mother stood still in the sight of it. Suddenly, something sounded like a hum up in the air... It was Superman! Superman rescued the child! The crowd relieved applauses. The Media arrived at that point, and the reporters started interviewing Superman. "Which newspaper are you from?" Superman asked to one of them. "New York Times." "You can ask me now." Superman said. "Were you scared while saving the kid?" "Yes, but it doesn’t matter to me. I want to help other human beings, no matter the cost." To the next reporter: "Which newspaper are you from? "Herald Tribute. Which are your beliefs about children?" "I believe that children are the future of our world and that we should, all of us protect them from evil." The third reporter: "Which newspaper are you from?" "Risebroker" (Rizospastis, a Greek newspaper) "To you, you damned communist, I’m not saying a word!" Next Day, Newspapers write in their FrontPage: New York Times – Superman, the abnegation and human sacrifice standard! Herald Tribute – Superman, the defender and children Savior! Risebroker – Superman, Propagandist, right winged fascist, deprives food from South-African immigrant!

What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.

Q: Why did my wife cross the road? A: To go back to the first shoe shop we went in three bloody hours ago.

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."