Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
Me using the Siri app on my iPhone: Me: "Siri, call my wife." Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts." Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife." Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife." Me: "Call my wife." Siri: "Which wife?"
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on? A: Your bad backlinks.
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.